DayDreamBeliever

Qs & A

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 13:38:50 GMT

It is a new concept� new goal to achieve yet I am still in the same environment. I found my life has been complicated than ever. I asked the same question most to myself� and the alter ego came with solution. I agreed.

Yesterday wasn�t the best day of my life� the day before wasn�t the worst. Today� I have myself immune with hates and frustration. Funny when love suddenly lost along the way� when I am desperately need it the most. Human being has moving towards greediness and wars. Human make mistakes� but each day, it getting worst and bad. Human now loosing the strength of good ideology. Human� desperate.

�Do you think you are ready to be someone else�s life?�

�ha?�

�Having real life�

�I am living mine now�

�No, I mean� with someone else�

�Ha?�

�have your own family��

�Owhhhh��

Questions are hard to understand� but it is easy to let go. If we want to avoid furrther conversation, we could asnwer �I don�t know�. Serious answer will be something which will lead to another question. And that is a trap. I cannot have my thought ready for an unexpected question. I need a script� I need time to think. And we can find varies of human while communicating. We learn different gesture and ideas� even if it obviously annoying and stupid. Human can be interesting in many different ways.

How are we going to bridge the information? How are we going to make ourselves comfort in conversation? I feel safe� even when I have imagined I could just cut their throat / pull their hair / kick their ass / at least slap them in the face� I won�t use my ability of being extremely fierce and rude� I rather keep my voice unheard. Silence� that is the simplest thing I can do� when I trapped in a big �WAR�!

But due to the question, yes I do!

You got me Dude!

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 16:10:34 GMT

Dan aku menjadi tersangat teruja!

Hail To The World

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:12:06 GMT

Aku terpanggil untuk menulis di sini, berkenaan degan perasaan dan hati sebagai seorang rakyat Malaysia di bawah naungan raja dan hulubalang-hulubalang nya. Terpanggil untuk mengarang sesuatu setelah tiba-tiba mendapat "goose-bump" mendengar separuh daripada perutusan di kaca tv. Aku memilih untuk tidak mendengar keseluruhan ucapan, dan yakin bahawa ucapan tersebut ada dimuatkan di saluran lain yang lebih mudah untuk aku capai. Internet.

Sebagai seorang picisan yang hina (ajeed aku pinjam ayat bujang kau yang terakhir), mungkin agak formal sekiranya aku ingin membuat perumusan tentang impak pemerintahan lepas dan apa yang bakal diharapkan sekarang. Sama ada aku akan bersikap bias atau aku tidak bijak mengolah ayat. Dan akibatnya, aku juga mungkin bakal disamankan. Tidak, aku tidak akan berbuat sedemikian. Sangat bahaya untuk membuat luahan seperti itu di saluran ini.

Aku tidaklah merintih secara paling dahsyat terhadap kepimpinan pemimpin negara, malah aku berasa cukup bangga dan selamat, kerana paling tidak, masih ada yang boleh dibanggakan di negara sendiri ini. Cukup dari segala segi, walau praktisnya nampak lemah dan goyah, tapi sekurang-kurangnya ia tidak terus hancur. Bohonglah, kalau aku katakan, aku menyesal merubah profesion. Sudah pasti tuhan akan menarik kembali rezeki yang dipinjamkan kepada aku. Aku bersyukur, setidaknya, aku mengalami evolusi kehidupan yang agak baik, dan aku terlepas daripada kepincangan duniawi yang berlainan dengan hidup yang aku punya sekarang. Aku tidak perlu berdebat dengan seorang yang mengabdikan orang lain untuk penentuan hidup dia sendiri yang lebih bahagia! Kurang Hajar!!!

Tidak sabar untuk mendengar rumusan daripada Jeed tentang evolusi yang bakal berlaku ini. Jeed adalah sebuah kaca tv untuk aku, seorang pembaca berita, pengulas sukan dan juga seorang penganalisis yang berfikiran liberal. Jeed adalah saluran utama hebahan berita dan maklumat terkini, yang mudah untuk didapati. Walaupun kadang-kadang hujahnya nampak bias dan sinis, dan memang akan menimbulkan kekacauan dan hingar kepada yang belum mengenali siapa dia, tapi aku suka dengan cara dia berdebat. Berani dan berpegang teguh. Semoga itu menjadi petunjuk awal kepada gaya kepimpinan yang bakal memberikan teladan.

Jadi, apa yang kita perlukan? Bukan sahaja untuk sekarang sebenarnya, kita telah merintih untuk mendapatkan yang TERbaik sejak dari dulu dan terus berlanjutan hingga sekarang, bezanya, rezeki itu semua ketentuan tuhan, dan walau macam mana kuatnya usaha yang digarapkan, kalau belum sampai masa tuhan turunkan limpah kurnianya, selagi itulah kita akan merintih. Dan bukan menyalahkan yang lain.

So we keep on waiting... waiting for the world to change! Yeaah!

Will she be wearing a PRADA?

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:28:31 GMT

Everything still quite the same since I left the office last 2 weeks. Only this time� She has making a great turbulence upon everything. She is making new rules one after another, and somehow I have confused� are we having 2 heads in one union?

As a young and newbie person I am, I am practically learning new things everyday. Learn the commands and get through the crisis like a pro even in such a haphazard way. I swallowed the pain, I didn't brag to make myself always a winner. I silent and listen with a mean eyes and my heart beating like a roll of drum waiting to be exploded. She is obviously elder than me, and that is the only reason I am holding back the anger and bad words. True, I might stab her from back, but it is against my philosophy to make a prank/sabotage person who has been with me in a so-called a professional world.

Sometimes it took me the whole day, to do voodoo and spells just to make sure she get her lesson well. But, I am not that skeptical to be a witch�.

Off all the things I do� we do, there always be a minor errors which defined to be so subjective to argue. And I feel, it is quite unfair, when she keeps on taking credits for herself even other people has working their ass damn hard to fulfill the ridiculous needs that could only make her satisfied. She loves being well known to be the busiest woman. And I hate that.

I am not running away from her style of commands, I am afraid facing her to fight for my rights. Sometimes she gave me that space to clean out my thought (which is in a very different way)� and I didn't let go much of it. She thaught me bit about management but I am not sure if I am learning the right things when I didn't see any good role from her. She shown how confidence she is, and dare to pull the trigger towards everyone who made bad judgments on us, but I didn't get the facts and morals on whatever came from her ends. I was lost and I failed to be connected in our communication� verbally & seriously a catastrophe when it is non-verbal.

I don't know� but it is quite stressing here. Not about how many complaints I have to handle / how many papers I need to work on / how many bugs I need to fix / meetings I have to attend / feedbacks I shall need to submit within 24 hours / training I have to organize and more unpredictable task I shall be taken anytime anywhere� the only reason that makes me weak and totally temperamental on my way to work� is about her being so bossy and fussy and come out with non-impressively achievement. WHY WHY WHY?

Due to the very stressful work environment, I am on my way scheduling a counseling session for myself. I need to get everything out� properly. I cannot take this anymore! She has been quite unacceptable sometime� if it means that we are actually mentally abused, I shall raise up the ultimate reason of WHY anytime in future� She must know? Is it worth it?

WRAP UP!

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 14:46:09 GMT

From last Sunday� 16th of March and till yesterday, 26th of March. 11 days spent in Kemaman has causing me so much alike Zombie. Sleepless night and tiring eyes� everyone complaining yet, no one dare to stand up the truth. So do I. What kind of changes worth to fight for, when in the end it will be us the one to blame for cannot taking challenges?

It was so embarrassing when I chose not to jog at the end of the day. On the perfect and breezy weather... beautiful dawn! And I chose to be sitting under the tree at the corner of the field� and take a short nap! It was so frantically embarrassing. I never did that before�Just because I couldn�t fight the� SUPER MENGANTOK!

Now it finished. 3 hours in the exam hall and I have to wait for another 3 months to get the result. Although I made quite a gimmick by accidentally fall to sleep in the middle of answering the question paper. If it�s not because of one of the staff came towards me and asked if I have finished answering� I think I would�ve returned a blank answer�s paper. Please, I am so hoping to score this time. At least� PASSED.

I didn�t take many photos. I have lost the interest of having myself in photos. I prefer to shoot photos of someone else. Maybe I have lost a sense of interest seeing myself as in statically smiling or crumbling or laughing or wondering or hilariously chocking... (I am quite introvert� I cannot see myself in a video! Seriously!).

Oh yeah� and it�s been 4 days after my birthday. Happy? Yeah!

Boring

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 13:09:13 GMT

I cannot concentrate anymore... it has been killing me since the first day I was here. One class after another... and it took 2 hours to finish one module. It last till 1 am everyday! Only insomniac can stand that... Geee...

Anyway, I manage to make myself stay in wide eyes today. I have ignored the talks....
I was so enjoyed doing the origami!!!

Moment of silent...

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 00:44:32 GMT

Almost one week in a place where I don�t get most of the jokes. I couldn�t find the sense of humor and I found myself strange in a huge community. I am so close to be discharged and trying to get possible reason to be excused. Unfortunately I am too straight for that.

Saturday� I should be still in bed at this time. Late night sleep still got me stuck in hangover. My head is heavy and I can feel the pain at the right side of my brain. My eyes getting worst and I am thinking of seeing a specialist for a treatment. Of cos, I cannot go on with eyes like an owl!

Being here is like having me in jeopardy. I got less awareness about the things related to government servant� I got 3 bulky books which I don�t know which one to start on to prepare an exam on Thursday, after many years I have thought I don�t need to be worry about taking exam or test after graduates� dear god� many kind of exam I shall be seating anytime in future. The first try was not that good� I have made a history� I failed on the first time exam since I became a government servant. Quite a huge embarrassment, for someone who got really confident at the first place. Padan muka aku!

Cut and Shut

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:24:03 GMT

1 hour before the big meeting we were having delectable lunch at kelab tasik. After 1 year I have practically driving here and there around Putrajaya, that was the time I just knew the exact location of everyone always talks about. Kelab Tasik. WTH! It was a farewell party for ex-boss and Ina. And it went slightly okay, accept me and Sharon try to get a quick escape to prepare a must-went-flawless meeting by 2.30 pm. I took Weeda�s camera and pretending like it was mine but having bad photos at the ends. I am so no good working with good angle to come out with styles of photos. Wish I can be at least like zulkhas� (dream on!).

After lunch, I went hilariously disastrous through out the meeting. Forget about I have accidentally shut down sharon�s notebook when the presentation just have started. We switched to my notebook then and realized that the file stored in my notebook are not the latest one. 3 slides went wrong. and yeah� we skipped 30% of the slides before we ended at 10 minutes to 5. Yet boss scored big time on his first strive. He managed to get everyone�s attention by fact and confident sentence through out the meeting. Rough idea of the presentation was first come from his ends anyway. Finally we went out the meeting room with no tense.

I have a thought of going back early to meet my favorite boy but was cancelled after received a message from liza asking me to join them packing up the goodies bag for club�s annual meeting tomorrow. Even I am not officially be credited as a committee member, and I don�t know why the heck I have actually given such task of making posters and managing the logistic� I have made myself available for almost 3 hours to help them out. Yes it was fun! (not the part when we used the torchlight when the lights automatically switched off by 7). And they said, the task shall be completed by tomorrow� MAKKKK!

Only one more day left so I can clear things out before I�ll be unreachable for 2 weeks. Another must-attend course at kemaman. 2 weeks okay, and it last till 26th. That means, I will be celebrating my birthday THERE! And NOT HERE! Urgh! What could I ask for more? A surprise on the 27th? Maybe someone will fetch me back to KL? Or I will get boxes of gift by the time I get back to office? And yeah I may get numbers of birthday wishes by sms� and calls by 12 midnight� or maybe I will have a big surprise that could change my life forever? Or I will get spoiled by stupid jokes? Sort of like something I wish for� so let�s not taking this seriously. I just hope that I am moving towards� healthy and wealthy!

Someone came to me and told about funny jokes on love. Insisting to know either I have find it irresistible.

I said yes I do.

Then another questions prompted, getting opinion about truth and trust.

I said, I am not the right person to answer that.

(I really hope I can get an Internet access while in Kemaman! Please I have to always be connected to my FB! (Freak!!!))

Waking romance

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 08:30:53 GMT

He promised me, he won�t repeat the same stupid mistake. He promised he will get rid the entire nuisance, and will not hiding any secret anymore. But then, I don�t really sure how I can put my trust on him.

Whenever I see that picture� that childish and exotic look of her... I feel disturbed� and angry� and questions smacked me in the face.

Why must I stuck in this virtual world and googling about my man, whom I know less through out this freaky 5 years�

we sang we danced & we stole!

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 14:35:23 GMT

And so... I am satisfied!